Why does everyone love Taylor Swift?

  • why does everyone love Taylor Swift & what does it have to do with BELIEVING you can lose weight?
  • 3 lines in a Taylor Swift song brought back & re-framed a tough memory for me
  • the ONE message you must carry with you for your entire life
  • Taylor’s done what we CAN all do!

Why does everyone love Taylor Swift?

Taylor’s a talented musician with a cat-alogue of cat-chy songs.

She’s the kind of artist you can grow with.

Her Easter Eggs are fun to spot.

And her friend group and love life? Always interesting.

Why does everyone love Taylor Swift?

And oh ya… she’s clean cut and loves cats.

So do I!

Here’s Coco(nut) and Gunther helping me take pictures for this post on our roof:

Why does everyone love Taylor Swift - with cats?

They strangely look like biological brothers. But they’re not.
They were both “kicked out of” (!) the blood donor program at the emergency vet b/c of health issues & were up for adoption.

But what draws me in most is Taylor’s astute business brain

To be honest, I’ve followed her career, more than her songs.

Like how she’s embraced every obstacle and used it to evolve—whether it’s Kanye storming the stage during Taylor’s acceptance speech or the Scooter Braun thing (you know, when she wasn’t given the opportunity to own her own work).

Taylor’s the kinda lady who knows how to turn lemons into Lavender Haze Lemonade.

↑ The cocktail of choice served up at The Eras Tour.

In fact, re-recording 6 of her albums (so she owns the rights to all of her work) and rolling them out alongside her:

151 shows
across 5 continents

has not only burst her old songs back into the charts, for No. 1 hit after No. 1 hit, it’s led to…

Taylor Swift’s billion-dollar breakthrough year

And the economics have not just elevated for Taylor!

Check out these stats from Front Office Sports (FOS):

Taylor Swift has generated an equivalent brand value of $331.5 million for the Chiefs and the NFL, Apex Marketing Group tells FOS. The figure includes print, digital, radio, TV, highlights, and social media going back to Swift’s first game in September.

Also known as:

Swiftonomics:
The smart business choices Taylor Swift makes that affect the U.S. economy.

Though the financial affect of Taylor Swift has been felt around the world, to the tune of 10 billion.

And counting.

In short:

Taylor Swift uses set-backs to get stronger

And she shows us, we can too.

More on that in a moment ↑

Taylor’s a reverse Cinderella

It didn’t all go away at Midnight.

Taylor’s:

coach
private jet

servants
loyal Swifties ❤️

ballgown debut
NYC has been her catwalk for weeks

LOVE story
the unfolding-before-our-eyes fairy tale we’re all following…
with NFL’s Travis Kelce (who?!)

evening at the palace, with the fabulous and famous
Taylor’s the Princess of The Pop Culture Kingdom.
But her reign extends far beyond.
It was rumored the NFL gave her private jet a VIP parking space for the Superbowl
& they relocated Kanye West who strategically bought a luxury suite below her.
GO AWAY Kanye.
She’s even a powerhouse in the political arena.
Taylor’s impact is stuff of FOLKLORE.

The Taylor-Verse kept growing after MIDNIGHTS

And NONE of the above was magic.

Nuh-uh!

It’s all come about through:

  • focused work
  • consistency—even through ups and downs
  • & patience.

↑ All the same things you need to unlock your HAPPY Weight… none of this instant-over-night-dramatic-change stuff everyone’s looking for in a diet.

Remember… dieting has a 95% failure rate!

Most people struggle to lose weight NOT because they’re not trying hard enough… but because they’re putting all their energy behind the wrong information.

I did that for 10 years! Which is why: It took me 10 years to lose 10 pounds.

95% of people who lose weight through dieting gain back all of their weight within 1 – 5 years— eatingdisorder.org

But getting back to Taylor.

By focused work, I mean…

Taylor Swift isn’t trying to do all the things

She’s picked ONE thing and done it very, very well.

Which is a huge, HUGE theme in so many business books that are a-buzz right now. Like:

essentialism

10X’s is easier than 2X’s

& The ONE Thing

Which is a huge, HUGE theme in so many business books that are a-buzz right now

So I guess what I’m saying is:

I love Taylor Swift too

Why does everyone love Taylor Swift?

But even I’m wondering…

Or at least trying to put my finger on and get very specific about:

Why does EVERYONE love Taylor Swift?

It’s rare… unless you’re President Zelenskyy, aka: The Smoking Hot Moncho Head Honcho (to quote some hilarious girls on Tik Tok)… to be so universally loved.

The Swiftie Sphere is big.

So… what I want to know is:

What is “it” about her that resonates with us all.

I love peeling back the layers.

And getting to the heart of an issue.

I mean, even my partner Alex kept saying:

“We’ve got to get Eras Tour Tickets (to the cinema) before they stop playing it.”

Ok. Calm down.

An estimated 31 million people registered for the Toronto Verified Fan pre-sale (for Swift's only planned Canadian dates on the Eras Tour), equal to over 77 percent of Canada's population— iHeartRadioThis is the guy who love love loves Talking Heads and I had to remind him on the day of the final showing of “Stop Making Sense” (their 1984 {not 1989!} Doc—very good, btw) that it was tonight or never.

(Alex edits all my posts so I’m not outing him here. There will be no damage to his REPUTATION.)

Anyways… in January I decided to put on my investigative journalism hat.

It’s this very cool black toque from MoMA that we found in a puddle in Toronto.

And off we went to Bloor HOT DOCS Cinema:

And off we went to Bloor Hot Docs Cinema

Decked out in feather’s
and sequins
and friendship bracelets:

Decked out in feather's and sequins and friendship bracelets, to watch Taylor Swift

To watch Taylor Swift’s The Era Tour Movie.

TRUTH:
We ran there in leggings and sweats and arrived just as it started… out of breath. It was the first day it snowed in Toronto (FINALLY) so we spent the afternoon taking photos for a future blog post and by the time we got home it was too late for anything sparkly.

I have a history of packing too much into a day.

So what were my Taylor Swift take-aways?

Why does everyone love Taylor Swift so much?

And what does it have to do with unlocking your HAPPY Weight without dieting… the whole reason for my website and every post?

Let’s get the obvious observations out of the way.

Some swift housekeeping, if you will:

YES! Taylor Swift’s show is phenomenal. ❤️

She’s an absolute professional.

Era’s Tour Outfits? Check!
Set-list? Check!
Stadium and Cinema Crowd? Electric.

But what kept coming up for me and occupied the majority of my thoughts while watching Taylor on her Eras Tour… were questions about the work.

Specifically the behind-the-scenes work.

Like I read her Time Mag “Person of the Year” Profile—her first proper magazine interview in 4 years.

Taylor Swift is the first entertainer to be granted this title

And she’s the first female to feature on the cover twice since the franchise began in 1927.

Her first Person of the Year cover was in 2017 to recognize her work as one of the Silence-Breakers who encouraged women to speak out against sexual misconduct.

Honestly… her “Firsts” and “Awards” and “Honors” NEVER end.

Oh, and she also holds more than 70 Guinness Book World Records!

And in true Taylor style, they released 3 collectable covers:

And in true Taylor style, they released 3 collectable covers!

The Time Magazine article quoted Taylor

She said that she previously toured like a frat boy but for the Eras Tour she:

…began training six months ahead of the first show. “Every day I would run on the treadmill, singing the entire set list out loud,” she said. “Fast for fast songs, and a jog or a fast walk for slow songs.” Her gym, Dogpound, created a program for her, incorporating strength, conditioning, and weights. “Then I had three months of dance training, because I wanted to get it in my bones,” she says. “I wanted to be so over-rehearsed that I could be silly with the fans, and not lose my train of thought.”
– Person of The year Profile by: Sam Lansky

Yes! Tell me more.

That’s the kind of info I need to know about Taylor Swift

Like:

How does Taylor exert herself for 3 hours—enough for her hair to go all kinky and cool-looking from sweat… but her cat eyes stay perfectly in place?
I can’t walk up to bloody Farm Boy at the top of our street to buy a bag of whole milk, without returning home to find the felt-liner of my feline flick has all but vanished. And I wear primer!

I need brand names.
I need application tips.
And I need to hear the low-down straight from Taylor’s lips.

Tell me everything that goes into Taylor having the energy to perform for 195 minutes and stay hydrated BUT not go to the washroom.
(I contemplated wearing a diaper, just to watch The Eras Tour Movie.) ← NOT TRUE. But I didn’t want to miss any choreography. They must have what she eats and drinks on the day of a show down to a science. And I want to know how many experts are behind that, doing the math. I love anyone doing anything at an elite level.

How does Taylor transport her Eras Tour Show overseas?
Like… it takes 90 trucks to haul all her gear across the states. The logistics of this massive show are mind-boggling.

How has she learned to set boundaries and build alliances?
Everyone who works under Taylor Swift is so invested. One mishap and her mossy piano could split in half on the way from Seattle to Santa Clara.

How many people help Taylor change from one Era’s outfit to the next?
How long did they practice? And can I hear the audio, please, of how it all went down? …All the standing around with a stop watch and finding fresh ways to shave off seconds? Who on her team headed this up? What was their job description?

Did they choreograph one song, then nail it. Then the next song. Then nail it…
Or did Taylor practice one Era at a time and then put it together like a gingerbread house? How does one perfect the choreography and singing IN costume… for 41 songs spanning 10 eras?

Tell me more about Taylor’s Team and how they organize her time.
How is it that Taylor, who would have 1000’s of requests, that require responses, from media outlets to sponsorship deals to donation appeals to performing at private parties with princes… 99.9% of which she respectfully turns down… in yet she STILL appears to have more free time than I do?!?!?

Does Taylor have a coach to keep her above the noise but not let all her accolades go to her head?
Then she can maintain the vulnerability necessary to continue writing real songs? Her last words on Miss Americana are:

“I want to still have a Sharpie pen.
And a thin skin.
And an open heart. ❤️”

But between each of the questions above, I kept wondering…

Why does everyone obsess over Taylor Swift?

Looking out over SoFi Stadium—at the twinkling lights of 70,240 cell phones…

A venue in a town where she repeated this experience 6 days (almost) in a row…

Looking out over SoFi Stadium---at the twinkling lights of 70,240 cell phones...“Taylor Swift The Eras Tour: Lover Set” by Paolo Villanueva is licensed under CC BY 2.0That’s at total of… 421,440 butts on bleachers.

(Roughly the same population as Minneapolis.)

And seeing the:

crying
fainting
squealing
screaming
& singing-a-long from Swifties of every age, gender and ethnicity
donning sequins
Swarovski Crystals
feathers
& friendship bracelets…

Knowing this exact scene has played out in stadiums that sold out in seconds, in cities around the world, night after night and from one year to the next…

I wanted to know the common thread that weaves all these beating hearts together.

So I whispered to my partner Alex:

Why do you think everybody loves Taylor Swift?

He gave me a quick:

“Because her songs resonate with people.”

Yes. Yes. Of course.

But WHY do Taylor Swift songs resonate?!

Then, second song in, she sang Cruel Summer.

And that’s when I knew EXACTLY why people love Taylor Swift

It hit me as she belted out:

…I’m drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)
Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true…

…all while strutting around the stage, in a bedazzled body suit…

(↑ That juxtaposition is KEY. I’ll come back to it in a moment.)

And of course…

Those perfectly applied cat eyes:

And of course. Those perfectly applied cat eyes.“Taylor Swift The Eras Tour: Lover Set” by Paolo Villanueva is licensed under CC BY 2.0

This epiphany pointed to:

The 3 reasons why NOBODY can get enough of Taylor Swift

Year after year Taylor’s trusted us with her story.

All the ups.

And all the downs.

But TRUST isn’t as easy as Taylor makes it look.

I remember when I first met Alex, I was an “Everything’s great!” kinda girl.

I’d always kept my problems to myself because I never wanted anyone to have to worry about me.

Plus, one of the gifts of growing up stuck in the starve – binge – purge cycle:

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift - Starve binge purge cycle

…is that even though I got out of, what I call:  “Diet Jail” 24+ years ago, a regular day is still pretty magical for me.

Everything is just sooo much easier when you’re FREE

Free from the shackles of worrying about food, weight and hunger.

And unless life throws me something as heavy as the 10 years I had a complicated relationship with food… I ain’t complaining!

I mean… even as I was writing this post I spilled hot coffee — straight out of the microwave — all down my stomach (still nursing my blisters) and the first thing I said was:

“This is a good thing because it will make me more careful when I bike around Toronto.”

But, one day, early on in our relationship, Alex said to me:

If you don't open up you'll never get to know anybody

He said when you trust people with your story, they’ll trust you with theirs.

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift? Reason #1

Taylor is an absolute pro at trusting you with her story.

Take these lyrics for example, from her song:

I Bet You Think About Me
ALBUM: RED
(Taylor’s Version) ← of course!

3 AM and I’m still awake, I’ll bet you’re just fine
Fast asleep in your city that’s better than mine
And the girl in your bed has a fine pedigree
And I’ll bet your friends tell you she’s better than me, huh

Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles
Yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love
Oh, they sit around talkin’ ’bout the meaning of life
And the book that just saved ’em that I hadn’t heard of…

…You grew up in a silver-spoon gated community
Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills
I was raised on a farm, no, it wasn’t a mansion
Just livin’ room dancin’ and kitchen table bills

But you know what they say, you can’t help who you fall for
And you and I fell like an early spring snow
But reality crept in, you said we’re too different
You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes…

…I bet you think about me when you’re out
At your cool indie music concerts every week
I bet you think about me in your house
With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch…

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift? Reason #2

Taylor shares personal stories in a way that also make them about YOU.

And I field tested this one.

Every day at the very end of our walk, Alex and Moon go home and make us lattes while I pop into Farm Boy, cat-eye-less (as mentioned earlier) to do a quick top-up shop.

I pretend I’m European and just buy the fresh bread, eggs, milk, fruit, etc. we need for the day. Then I whip around to the cheese department to check if they’re selling any taster plates. See what’s on sale… All that kinda strategic shopping stuff.

So for a full week I asked every single person who checked me out at the till:

“Do you like Taylor Swift?”

Their reply wasn’t just a resounding “Yes!”

Every:

❤️age
❤️gender
❤️and all different nationalities

GUSHED!

Their entire demeanor changed as they talked about their LOVE for Taylor.

Everybody at Farm Boy is fabulous and fun

And one of my favorites is Natalie.

So when I saw her a few days later I cornered her by the trolley return area and asked her to tell me more about WHY she loves Taylor Swift.

Her response?

“Every single album has one song that is about my life and completely captures what I’m going through at that exact moment. I have no idea how she does it!”
– Natalie, Swiftie

So, let’s look at…

How Taylor Swift’s songs end up being about YOU

For the sake of brevity…

(OMG… haven’t you always wanted to say that?!)

Let’s stick with the “I Bet You Think About Me” song, because the lyrics are already above (in blue).

While this song (and the video, directed by Blake Lively) is widely believed to be about Taylor’s ex, Hollywood Star: Jake Gyllenhaal (you know him from: Brokeback Mountain, Love & Other Drugs, Proof, starring alongside Gwyneth Paltrow, etc.), Taylor tells her story in a way that, though many of us have not, for instance, dated Jake Gyllenhaal…

Many of us know exactly what Taylor’s talkin’ about because we have dated “a” Jake Gyllenhaal.

Or liked a Jake Gyllenhaal.

Hung out with a Jake Gyllenhaal.

Worked with a Jake Gyllenhaal.

Or had to share space with a Jake Gyllenhaal… male or female. Like a neighbor or piano teacher.

In short: We all know a Jakey G.

So Taylor Swift’s lyrics, especially the ones I bolded above, like:

You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes…

resonate with anyone who’s ever felt like they:

  • didn’t fit in
  • had to audition for love
  • or were underestimated.

Taylor is a master at capturing FEELINGS in her songs

… like she’s absolutely nailed the not-fitting-in feeling so perfectly in “I Bet You Think About Me”, that you can apply “the feeling” to any scenario where you’ve felt like an outsider.

Like when you’ve had to audition for a friend or parent’s love.

Or a sister or brother-in-law’s respect.

This feeling also translates to wanting your bosses approval, and beyond.

I mean, you can hear from the Instagram Post below [put sound ON!] that even people, like Kristin Juszczyk, who made Taylor Swift’s custom Kelce jacket, have had THE FEELING Taylor describes, of being talked down to and underestimated.

I LOVE this clip:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Kristin Juszczyk (@kristinjuszczyk)

“How’s your little business going?”

I think that’s my favorite (and one I’ve heard before.)

Taylor describes THE FEELING so well, it takes you back to a time when you had THE FEELING.

Then you simply sub in your own people and places and ta-dah!

T Swizzle is singing about YOU!

So, while Kristin Juszczyk has not (to my knowledge) dated Jake Gyllenhaal, I would imagine that “I Bet You Think About Me” resonates with her too.

Supplementary musings for staunch Swiftes:

How Taylor Swift got so good at writing songs that make her feelings, universal

The other night I was Googling Taylor Swift, in the name of research for this post.

I didn’t fully know her parents were divorced. Just had some foggy idea that they weren’t together. And because I’m curious about the different life events that have made her, I popped that question in the search bar and BOOM!

Swiftly fell down a hole that brought me to a video of her at The World Famous: Whisky a Go Go when she was just 16 years old… so more than half-her-life ago.

And while she was being interviewed on Q104: Your #1 for New Country, she said the following, which I personally think explains where her skill to capture feelings originated from:

…When I was about 14 I had run into all these stereotypes about these young girl artists who quote unquote co-write. You know? Where they apparently sit in a room and people write songs for them. I didn’t want that to be what people thought about me. So I treated it like I was a 35 year old song writer, writing every day like it was my job. Because I wanted to prove to people that that was what I really was serious about. So I would go in after school every single day and just write with these really amazing co-writers. And just really wanted to get it known around town that I did, I wrote songs. I really wrote them…
-16 year old Taylor Swift – 2006 Home Video Part 1: 5:15 to 5:54

Taylor started sharing personal details in her lyrics

I think she began telling very specific stories because since an early age she wanted to ENSURE you know SHE writes the songs.

No “co-writer” could come up with the organic shoes and your million-dollar couch lyric.

Only someone who, perhaps, was initially impressed by the shoes… while simultaneously feeling out-of-the-loop and not good enough with their own perhaps, unconscious footwear, could latch onto and decide it was important to showcase in a song, the, now obvious, virtue signalling of their older, more established ex-boyfriend, who made it known he’s wearing “organic shoes”.

No generic “I’m-glad-you’re-gone” lyrics from a room full of talented writers, here!

Those words could only come from Taylor.

Then being the savvy chanteuse she is…

When including specificity in her stories:

  • churned out song after song… Taylor is prolific, non?
  • naturally planted Easter Eggs
  • attracted a lot of interest

And captures whatever THE FEELING is for each track, such that writing songs that deeply resonate became what she’s known for…

Taylor likely leaned into sharing personal details and got better and more and more magnificent at it.

But there’s even more to Taylor’s magnetic music

And why EVERYBODY loves Taylor Swift!

And this I believe, (← my Easter Egg for you right there, starting with “b” and ending in “e”…) is the most important part.

The juxtaposition bit.

The part that’s so important, especially if you’re going through something right now—whether it’s a:

or any other challenge you’re working through.

Which brings us to:

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift? Reason #3

Taylor Swift songs have satisfying endings.

Take the song we’re spotlighting: “I Bet You Think About Me.”

It starts winding down with these words:

…I don’t have to be your shrink to know that you’ll never be happy…
…Does it make you feel sad
That the love that you’re lookin’ for
Is the love that you had
Now you’re out in the world, searchin’ for your soul
Scared not to be hip, scared to get oldChasin’ make-believe status, last time you felt freeWas when none of that shit mattered ’cause you were with me…

Taylor’s not just written about how, in the end, she’s dodged a bullet by not being with her ex boyfriend.

She’s written an anthem, for all of us.

All of us who didn’t realize until later that we’re better off without someone, in this case, perhaps someone who controlled us with THE FEELING she’s singing about, the feeling that we:

  • don’t fit in
  • have to audition for their love
  • or are underestimated

THE FEELING you might have had from your best friend, mother or ex boyfriend.

But she doesn’t stop there.

The 3 reasons we love Taylor Swift combine to be something BIGGER

Taylor:

#1 – Trusts you with her story
#2 – Captures universal feelings so her song becomes our story too
Then we can go along for the ride and together we:
#3 – Have an oh-so satisfying ending

But we need all 3 to have a full crescendo, one that sends:

The BIG message
you MUST carry around with you
for EVERMORE.

It’s the message I was reminded of, sitting in Bloor HOT DOCS Cinema, watching a well-healed (not a typo!) Taylor, singing about her scars.

What alerted me to this moment, is that she actually stops the song and asks everyone in the stadium to sing with her at the bridge.

BRIDGE:
Refers to the section of a song used to build tension, create a transition, and add variety.
The goal is to grab the attention of people listening to your song.

And like everything Taylor does, it’s intentional.

I mean, is talking about a bridge and then doing a bridge, a double bridge?

Anyways, I’ve seen footage of Taylor saying this in all different countries:

Alright! We have arrived… at the very first bridge of the evening. I have a question for everyone here at this sold-out show in [insert name of city]. Now I was wondering, is there any chance you happen to know the lyrics to the bridge? Prove it!

↑ How to ask without begging.

Then EVERYBODY sings with Taylor:

…I’m drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)
Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true…

Watching her deliver those 3 lines from Cruel Summer, that reflect on a difficult time in Taylor’s life, brought me right back to sitting in a car, late one Sunday afternoon in February, more than 30 years ago.

And it reminded me of the BIG message I carry around that I learned from that difficult time in my life.

Where the Taylor Swift Time Machine took me

I was in the drivers seat of my parent’s wood-paneled jeep, wearing my yellow ski jacket.

My shoulder-length, thinned out hair (all broken from bulimia) was wet and starting to go stiff because I couldn’t bring myself to turn on the car.

I felt stuck in that moment while the gravity of the situation sunk in.

I’d just failed my Swimming Instructor Course.

But there, in the car,
I was realizing what happened,
was a whole lot bigger than that.

There were 3 of us who failed

The 3 people who didn’t do the “optional” date to shadow another swimming instructor in the pool.

But I wasn’t someone who cut corners, much less failed

I’m someone who’s prepared to put in all the extra hours because I need to know I did everything possible—even if it kills me—or I can’t feel good.

I mean, I was the kid at my local pool who swam twice as far to raise twice as much as kids twice my age for the annual Swim-a-Thon.

Not because I was the best swimmer. I wasn’t.

I just knocked on more doors and stayed in the pool until I completed my 100-lengths goal.

And I didn’t think anything of it until my parents gave me a gift. They opened up my first bank account and put some money in.

I said “I’ll save it!”

But they suggested I get something small to celebrate.

So I bought a stuffed toy mouse wearing a tiny pink floral apron. I still have it.

The ‘old me’—the me before my eating disorder?

She would have passed the Swimming Instructor Course no problem.

I always did the NOT-required reading, so to speak.

Sports were a huge part of my life and I was patient with kids.

Like as soon as I passed a level in swimming I’d go home and teach my little brother what I learned.

Then make him a badge that matched mine out of felt for his swim suit. We’d do theory by the side of the turtle pool first: I’d read the curriculum I prepped ahead of time in a binder, while we wore our towels around our waists—just like I’d done with my instructor.

Then we’d hop in and I’d teach him how to float.

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift - In pool with Kevin

But that winter, in the car with wet hair, I was in Gr. 12

Three and half years into my complicated relationship with food and always yo-yo-ing back and forth between 15 and 30 pounds overweight.

I was completely uncomfortable in my own body and too ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit.

So I skipped the optional shadow-an-instructor date because after 5 Sunday’s in a row of sitting around in my “swimming costume” feeling fat and hungry all day, with cuts on my knuckles… well, who would voluntarily go back for more?

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was caught in (as Canada’s Prime Minister’s ex-wife Sophie Trudeau generously shared when telling her story):

The Vicious Cycle of Starving, Bingeing and Purging.

Whipping around, from one stage to the next.

Always trying to rally my spirits with the promise of a “new diet”.

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift? Here's the starve binge purge cycle

And all this landed me in my parents car

In a parking lot, by a rec pool… a failure.

You know these parking lots!

They look like this:

And all this landed me in my parents car, in a parking lot, by a rec pool... a failure

Eventually I slipped the key into the ignition

…to go home and deliver the news of my failings.

And with the first twist to rev the engine, the radio came on, playing: “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M.

Every whisper, of every waking hour
I’m choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool…
…Consider this the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed…
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spot-light
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough…
…Try, cry, fly, try
That was just a dream
Just a dream
Just a dream, dream.

And that song?

It felt just for me.

It felt, meant to be.

This was my “Cruel Winter Summer”.

Or Cruel Decade!

To be fair, this song was probably played every half hour on every “alternative rock” station that year.

But ultimately, I think, that song was comforting because:

It felt like someone understood what it felt like to be me

Even if that feeling was awful and it was an older guy I’d never met from another country singing.

His song made me feel less alone.

In my 17-year old head I was sure his words were about addiction.

And I felt addicted to food.

I couldn’t stop thinking about food, my extra weight and how hungry I was.

REALITY:
If you don’t eat enough
of the right types of food,
your body will keep sending hunger signals—which makes you think about food,
and crave sugar,
until you meet it’s needs.

I didn’t know that

I didn’t know how our bodies work.

My entire focus was on proving to myself that I had the determination to stick to my restrictive diet.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.

So I felt like a bad person

A bad person for not being able to lose weight.

And a bad person for failing the Swimming Instructor Course.

It felt like “I was losing my religion.”

Because that Sunday afternoon, sitting in the car, was the first time it hit me that:

Trying to lose weight had slithered into other parts of my life

And started interrupting my path and potential.

And I wondered, in the words of Talking Heads:

How did I get here?

Still (wrongly) thinking ALL I needed was more willpower to lose weight and finally get on with my life, I hoped this failure would hurt hard enough to draw a line in the sand and scare me into following my new diet perfectly.

The one I’d draw up later that evening, so when the clock struck midnight I’d be ready for my new diet to begin—that one I’d stick to perfectly.

But I didn’t need willpower to stop dieting and unlock my HAPPY weight

I just needed good information to put my Type A energy behind.

As I said earlier but it’s SO KEY to remember:

It’s not that most people
aren’t trying hard enough to lose weight.

It’s that they’re running 100 miles an hour
with THE WRONG information.

As R.E.M. played on, I pulled away from the pool

Then binged and purged on the way home to get some temporary relief from hunger and at the same time punish myself.

I stopped at a high-end hotel and used the washroom in the lobby with the floor to ceiling doors while people would come and go dressed all fancy from weddings and formal dinners… with fine pedigrees, that were better than me.

↑ See how lyrics can also conjure up FEELINGS that come from stories we’ve told ourselves?

And like each time before, I was absolutely certain it was the last time I’d ever do any of that.

Here I am from around that time:

Do I need more willpower? - Why does everyone love Taylor Swift - Kelly Clark - Bulimic

Sadly… it would be 7 more years

7 more years before I collected the information, strategy and support—through trial and error and many difference sources—that I needed to get out of Diet Jail.

But I always BELIEVED I’d get better.

And eventually, I did.

Which is why my big life goal
is to share everything I learned in ONE place.
Then you can SIMPLIFY your relationship with food faster than I did.
And find out who you are
when you’re not skipping meals,
counting calories
& doing extra exercise. ❤️

Now, back to Bloor HOT DOCS Cinema.

Where just 3 lines of Taylor Swift lyrics delivered from The Eras Tour Stage, brought all that back for me ↑ three decades later.

But here’s the thing…

Remembering that painful time didn’t make me feel sad

In fact, the memories of all the uncertainty and secrets I’d been ashamed of, that Cruel Summer evoked, stuff I never, ever, ever, ever. Like, ever… thought I’d tell anyone… not even in my wildest dreams

Well, revisiting all that stuff actually gave me a GREAT feeling.

A very specific feeling I’ve coined a name for ↓

It’s a feeling that comes from Taylor combining the 3 reasons we love her that creates a crescendo.

A feeling that is:

The BIG message
we MUST carry around with us
Forever & Always

Taylor Swift songs re-frame tough experiences

So you can see them properly.

FIRST, you see that Taylor didn’t just get to the other side of something…

She didn’t just get through “it”.

She came back BETTER.

She’s not just surviving—she’s thriving.

Not in spite of her experience…

But because of it.

She’s out there telling the world about it with 20/20 hindsight.

And SECOND?

Taylor shows you that she can come back better, AGAIN AND AGAIN.

How does Taylor Swift communicate all this?

Enter:
BEJEWELED Bodysuit & Stage Strutting

Why Does Everybody Love Taylor Swift - Eras Tour“Taylor Swift The Eras Tour: Lover Set” by Paolo Villanueva is licensed under CC BY 2.0In the words of Marshall McLuhan, the Canadian Communication Theorist:

“The medium is the message.”

This girl is doing fine ↑

SoFi-Stadium-filled-up-6-times-in-a-row SoFine!

As Taylor told you herself:

She always resurrects.

Taylor ain’t no two-bit songbird!

Everybody loves Taylor Swift because she’s a Phoenix

A phoenix who rises up from the ashes—every time.

And the more she’s wrongly burned, the hotter the flames, and the higher the heat takes her.

As she sings:

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead…
I do it all the time

Even semi-seasoned Swifties know those lyrics are from Taylor’s song:

Look What You Made Me Do.

A song she sang as a highlight of her Reputation Era.

Everybody loves Taylor Swift songs because she gives YOU the Phoenix Feeling

Believing in yourself is the BIG message you MUST carry around with you for the rest of your life.

When I was a few years into struggling with my weight, someone I trusted told me:

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift? - Kelly, I think you'll struggle with your weight for the rest of your life

At first those words hit me hard.

And honestly?

I had trouble computing them.

But then I decided not to believe them.

I re-framed my future and started to believe it was possible to lose weight and never think of it again.

Now it’s been 24+ years since I lost weight

24+ years since I figured out how to unlock my HAPPY Weight and make food a COMPLETE non-issue.

And you can do it too.

You have to believe you can get through hard times,
& come back better
And after you do it once?
You’ll know you can do it again and again
in other parts of your life.

Believing you can do it, and do it every time, is MORE THAN HALF of how ya do it!

Believing you can do it is a HUGE part of how you accomplish anything

It even helps you relax a little, about coffee burns that happen whilst writing blog posts.

→ As we entered the 4 hour mark of Alex handing me a cold compress every 30 seconds to put across my chest, I had to remind myself: “I will feel like I’m not lying on a hot stove soon. This will not last forever!”

I summoned the Phoenix Feeling!

Tap into the Phoenix Feeling when you need to get through something

Everybody who’s seen The Eras Tour has had their own Cruel Summer

And all the people who couldn’t get Taylor tickets, have too.

Everyone knows the “crying in the back of the car” feeling…

We’ve all experienced really hard stuff.

Like a:

  • friend you’ve lost from cancer
  • family member who throws you under the bus and then the rest of your family believes them
  • health issue that you treat as a secret rather than the attention it deserves

It’s believing a complicated relationship with food is about willpower
(an idea the diet industry sells to keep us trapped in the diet cycle)
that makes us feel ashamed.
So we keep our preoccupying food stuff a secret.
Don’t isolate yourself with MISinformation!
Get the good information, strategies and support to unlock your HAPPY Weight.

The Taylor Swift Stadiums are full of 10’s of thousands of people

People who are thinking about their own Jake Gyllenhaal.

Their own Kanye West.
Their own Scooter Braun.
Or their own swimming pool parking lot story.

There’s 86 000 a night, in Melbourne!

Why Does Everybody Love Taylor Swift - Eras Tour“Taylor Swift The Eras Tour: Lover Set” by Paolo Villanueva is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift?

Because when she’s singing about her scars wearing sequins?

Taylor Swift is saying:

Be proud of what made you

Be proud of what made you!

(Thank you to one of the incredible women I get to work with who shared those beautiful words ❤️)

You can walk away from tough times.

But be grateful for those experiences and everything inside you that it took to get through them.

Why does everybody love Taylor Swift?

Because she helps us believe change is possible.

And if the change you want is to believe you can lose weight and never think about it again…

If your crying in the back of the car FEELING is a complicated relationship with food.

And you’re in the thick of it right now.

You need to know you can get to the other side and come back BETTER.

The reason I started this blog is because I want to share what I learned so you can get the Phoenix Feeling faster than I did.

Way faster than I did!

Because I know:

When YOU walk in the room
YOU can still make the whole place shimmer

And we need you back in the room. xo

Make Today Count

make today count - the10principlesAre you ready to take action and be the hero of your own story?

It all starts when you stop saying “Everything’s great!”

And acknowledge what you want to fix in your life.

Don’t wait until it’s a big problem… address it TODAY to prevent a big problem.

SPEAK NOW!

Then believe you can do it.

It’s time to change the story you’re telling yourself. ❤️

Build healthy eating and exercise habits.
A healthy weight will follow.

How to get the Phoenix Feeling

Next Steps for why everybody loves Taylor Swift

And why you should love you too.

You can unlock your HAPPY Weight and never worry about food again so you can put that Type A energy into the people, animals and projects you LOVE by:

#1 – Realizing you’re not alone
EatingDisorderFoundation.org states:

In a college campus survey, 91% of the women admitted to controlling their weight through dieting.

Over 50% of teenage girls use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.

81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.

#2 – Believing you can do it & come back BETTER
The message ↑  you MUST carry with you forever and always.

It is possible to get confident about what to put on your plate.

Before you know it, you’ll be FEARLESS!

#3 – Get my ONE DAY Meal Plan
It’s a snapshot of the regular food I eat that helped me STOP dieting and unlock my HAPPY Weight 24+ years ago.

You can get it here.

There’s so many Taylor Swift clips I could put here

…that relate to parts of this post.

But I wanted you to see this:

Now watch that short clip again and instead of looking at Taylor Swift, look at all the beautiful people in the stadium and tell me they don’t know the crying in the back of the car feeling.

The: Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true feeling.

They don’t just believe in the Phoenix Feeling.

They know it’s real.

Why do you love Taylor Swift?

What do you admire about her most?

Even if you’re not a Swiftie, there’s LOTS to love. ❤️

Let me know in the comments below!

Kelly Clark

PS
During The Eras Tour Movie, when Taylor sat down at the piano and announced that this was the acoustic part of the show, I took that as a nod to run to the washroom. Only to return as the audience was finishing their gasp… Yes, I missed the biggest choreographed moment of the whole show. The biggest and most talked about viral moment. (The dive.) Dammit! I knew I should have worn a diaper.

 

 

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Sharing what I learned makes the 10 years I STRUGGLED worth it